bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
