I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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