Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
