jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
