In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
