I'm drive I can fine osifer
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
