Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
