Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
