i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
