4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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