Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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