Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
