Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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