it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
