My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
