Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
