Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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