i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think I am morally bankrupt
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
