I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
