I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
