I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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