That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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