forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
