Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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