Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
