Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
