tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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