I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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