Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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