I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
