But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
