we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
