dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
