I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
