xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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