I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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