Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Randomize
