How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
