your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He shit in the fireplace
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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