i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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