i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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