You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
