At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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