We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
