After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
