When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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