I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
