You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
