In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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