just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
