i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
